Epitaph – Peter Van der Gucht 2020

12 July 2023

Shaping Our Lives was saddened to hear of the recent passing of Peter Van Der Gucht. A social worker who experienced mental health problems, Peter challenged the then social work regulator when they determined that social workers with mental health problems were not fit to practice. Peter won his case, with the support of the Disability Rights Commission.

Shaping Our Lives and one of our co-Chair’s Peter Beresford are proud that we were able to support Peter in his important and successful challenge to discrimination on the part of the then social work regulator, which made it possible for many people as mental health service users to make their valuable contribution as social workers.

Here we publish one of his poems, in his memory.

I don’t consider myself a victim as this may sound

I have so much to be grateful for as I have found

there are compensations for these parts of me

which could be dismissed in terms of disability

it enables me to observe things differently

 at times I have creative skills and great energy

giving me the strength to pursue a full time career

both in the statutory and voluntary sector

still manage to have a wonderful family life

with children grandchildren and lovely wife

 It also gave me the determination to always fight

and take up causes which I felt were right

which included all sorts of  discrimination

including new social work accreditation

 as instead of concentrating on those unfit  

for work  because they took illicit

drugs drank too much alcohol or stole

from their most vulnerable clientele

risk was associated with worker’s disability

and mental health conditions which  applied to me

as I was one of the few who had honestly declared

my diagnosis whereas others were  too scared

to be open about their human frailty

Mind had taught me the best approach was honesty

In this case I found quite the reverse

 my approval was delayed and what was worse

they wanted to add conditions to my registration

as part of this new stricter regulation

their suggestion  was I could be dangerous

despite my experiences and  self-awareness

 

I decided to challenge them and fight

since I was convinced this cause was right

although the Union Solicitors said the GSCC

were correct and had not acted illegally

I searched out people who were willing to back me

friends colleagues and experts who could see

that this statement was wrong in principle

I won without going to a Tribunal

achieving what was heralded a watershed decision

applied to every Caring Professional organisation

the praise I received sent me temporarily high

then a bout of depression followed  inevitably

my mood spiralled  down into doubt and desperation

I couldn’t cope alone in my new work isolation

 

so I retired to write my plays, stories and a novel

but discovered I was more often gazing at my navel       

practising little but the art of procrastination

fearful of the barren space of my imagination

facing the reality that I would never be a writer

lacking the skills to be even a second rate author

until eventually I dared put pen to paper

risking the revelation I was a complete failure

unable to do what I had longed hoped for

produce an original idea which was not poor

This inner faith struggles to go on

detained at times by depression and rumination

until anti-depressants occasionally sends me high

which can help my thoughts to fly

but this can also cause confusion

at it’s worse result in verbal aggression

 

interfere with not help my creativity

which is so crucial a life blood for me

the best time for me to write

 is when I am stable giving me insight

and more control to complete the piece

 giving me much needed inner peace

I set up a group of like-minded people

My hope was this would enable

members to have the confidence to share

our writing knowing others would care

be reassuring not put anyone down

treating each work gently as if it was their own

I hope this has worked effectively

though some have wanted to be more critically

assessed believing  this is the best way to improve

otherwise how are they  able to move

 

Forward to ensure their skills became better

My hope is we have learned from each other             

as we have listened respectfully and positively      

helping creativity to run free developing our quality.